The Recovering Histrionic Storyteller

As a recovering Storyteller, you keep your buoyancy and color, but now, because the Love compass point is balanced with the humility of Weakness, you are sensitive to people’s signals that they’ve heard enough funny stories.

Amazed by the genuine dialogue that ensues, you form relationships with increased depth and feel relaxed even when not in the limelight. Hidden insecurity is replaced by optimistic serenity.

Histrionic Storyteller Self Compass

As a recovering Storyteller: 

• You stop to listen to other’s points of view.
• You breathe more fully and speak with a slower delivery so that others are able to take in what you’re saying (the Strength compass point in rhythm with Weakness). 
• You grow to enjoy more time alone, in quiet contemplation or in pursuit of hobbies.
• Greater discipline in thinking and decision-making helps tap your intellectual potential (Strength compass point). 
• By developing more confidence and capability, you no longer feel the need for center stage.  
• Though you help others feel better with a lively and positive attitude, you acknowledge that it is normal to feel down sometimes. 

 

The Virtue of Good Cheer

With a fuller use of the Self Compass, the recovering Storyteller reaps the virtue of good cheer:

• Makes life exciting, colorful and humorous.
• Loves to laugh and play. 
• Gregarious.
• Doesn’t take the world too seriously.
• Feels lighthearted most of the time.
• Always ready for an adventure or surprise.

Instead of predictably patterned behavior, the Self Compass now offers you 360 degrees of choice to use as appropriate for any given situation.  

Now you are freed develop your own individual style in Christ. Precious in his eyes, there is no one else like you, because “the very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Mt 10:30).

For more, read: THE SELF COMPASS: Charting Your Personality in Christ

How To Counter the Non-Stop Talker

The Storyteller patterned person wants your total attention as long as you’re willing to give it.  

Non-stop Talking

How do you interrupt a steady stream of non-stop talking? By practicing some polite conversation stoppers.

1. A touch on the arm, and, “Paula, I’m feeling overloaded right now. You’re giving me so many details that I lose track of what you’re really saying.”
2. “I’m glad you had a good time at the party, Ryan. I need to get back to work.” Stand up and walk away, with a polite “See you later.”
3. Agree that something is indeed exciting, then ask, “Would you be interested in hearing something I have to say?”

Watch for a phrase or topic that triggers something you want to talk about and then step in to forcefully change the subject. You’re not being rude, just shifting the person’s monologue into a dialogue.

When you consistently give into the onslaught of storytelling, inner resentment can make you miserable, helping neither you nor the person caught in the histrionic Storyteller pattern.

If someone with the Storyteller pattern negatively impacts your life:

1. Use caring assertion to say when you’ve had enough. 
2. Make sure you get time alone to recover. 
3. If they seek help, refer them to this book: The Self Compass: Charting Your Personality in Christ.
4. Suggest prayer and pastoral counseling. 
5. If you’re willing to support them in their growth, discuss how that might work.

Here is Carmen dealing with her boyfriend Boone’s Storyteller pattern. They have met after work and Boone is in full swing:

“So anyway, I just had the best time at the gym. They just redecorated the whole place. I don’t know if you’ve been recently but I was so surprised to see the new carpeting and they’ve totally repainted the men’s locker room. Say, did I tell you I had lunch with Ernesto? I met him in the men’s locker room, see, and we discovered that we both really like to play pool. There’s this cool place he knows about that I’ve never been to, but I’d love to take you sometime. How about tonight? Want to try it out? I can teach you the basic strokes. It’d be fun, huh, Carmen? Anyway, I found out how to…” 

Head Spinning

Her head spinning, Carmen touches Boone on his arm and waits until he stops talking and gives her eye contact.

“Boone.” She smiles as she sighs. “I got overwhelmed with all that you just told me. I think I took in that the gym’s been redecorated, but I lost you after that.” 

Carmen takes his hand. “Can you tell me just one short thing you really want to get across to me and leave it at that?”

Boone looks down. “I know I get too excited sometimes. It’s just that…” He bites his lip. “Okay. Here goes. One thing. Would you like to play pool with me tonight?”

Carmen grins and hugs him. "I'd love to!"

For more, read:

THE SELF COMPASS:

CHARTING YOUR PERSONALITY IN CHRIST

Do You Talk Too Much? The Self Compass Explains Why

“I tell you, Mario, my life with women...” Alex grins ruefully. “They come and they go. I just never know…”

Alex’s smile fades, then his eyes light up. “Anyway, have you met the new trainer at the gym? Carla? She’s stunning. Really knows her stuff, too.” He leans closer to Mario, making sure of eye contact. “I’ll introduce you. You’ll love her. Say, did you hear that Harold got into it with his manager and left his new job…”         

For the person stuck in the Histrionic Storyteller personality pattern, life is an endless saga of emotional ups and downs. Feelings govern you. Everything is either absolutely marvelous or entirely catastrophic. Whatever you feel at the moment is how you behave. It’s like the base thumping from a car radio at full volume. It reverberates in everyone’s ears within hearing distance.  

 

Emotional Ups and Downs

The Storyteller pattern brings unconscious, yet predictable thoughts to your daily interactions. Your self-talk sounds like this:

• I am only important if other people are showing interest in me.
• I only have worth to the degree that I emotionally impact others.
• I am significant in proportion to how many people know and like me.

This mindset creates a compelling urge to capture and keep people’s attention, even if this requires shocking remarks, reciting one’s latest woes, walking off in a huff, or sharing a juicy morsel of gossip.

Need To Keep In The Spotlight

When you’re not in the spotlight, as a defense against feeling insignificant, you scan conversations at a superficial level until it triggers something related to you. Then bingo. You dive right in. This is called selective listening. You don’t take in what people are sharing about themselves or their interests. You might say that people are needed accessories for your agenda of self-promotion.

Challenge The Histrionic Storyteller Pattern by Transforming Thoughts to:

• I am a worthwhile person with strengths and weaknesses, and I choose to accept myself.
• I can express myself to others with color and enthusiasm, but I will take the time and exercise the skill to really hear what they are saying to me.
• I can communicate better without exaggeration and emotional displays than with them.

Growth into Your Real Self in Christ:

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Advancing beyond the Storyteller pattern requires the willingness to move into the Weakness compass point. Not easy, to admit the need for less self-absorption, more sensitivity to other’s feelings. Yet if you pray for God to grant you more humility, He will. “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time” (1 Pet 6:5).

In the New Testament the apostle Peter initially displayed the Storyteller pattern in his relationship with Jesus. Peter often acted impetuously. He jumped into the Sea of Galilee to walk on water. He talked so much at Jesus’ transfiguration, it was hard for the Father to get a word in edgewise (Mt 17:5). He cut off the ear of the high priest’s servant when Jesus was arrested.

But in the wake of his baptism in the Holy Spirit, Peter acquired a more balanced use of his Love, Weakness, and Strength compass points. Eventually, Peter became the rock of assertive caring and humble strength, actualizing his true personality as Christ had foretold.

You might try a prayer like this from your Weakness compass point: 

“Dear Lord, I know I take things too personally and that I talk too much. Forgive me for stealing the glory that belongs to you. I humbly ask you to help me outgrow my Storyteller ways. Calm my inner anxieties and give me a sound mind. Help me to relax and become more sensitive to you and others. Thank you. Amen."

For more, read: The Self Compass: Charting Your Personality in Christ