If you are a Loner, you are stuck on the Weakness
compass point with too much detachment. You pull back into a shell, much like a
hermit crab.
As a recovering Schizoid Loner, you move past the pattern’s
rigidity by touching others, literally. You risk reaching out and touching
another human being, in an appropriate context, like a pat on the shoulder of
your son; a brush on the cheek of your spouse.
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| Pat on the Shoulder |
Neurons, millions of them, fire in response to this
kind of physical contact, providing an emotional connection that strengthens
your bond with others. But the recovering Loner perseveres, in spite of initial discomfort. By learning to
breathe and relax, you offer more smiles that let people know you care about
them. When they smile back, you feel the enjoyment God intended in creating
you.
Jesus understood the importance of sensual contact
with others. He fully enjoyed the experience of the woman anointing his feet
with expensive oil. He even took the disciples to task for criticizing the
expense.
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| Jesus' Feet Anointed With Oil |
So, too, by moving into the Strength and Love compass points, the
redeemed Loner finds creative ways to bless others with newfound expressions of
love and appreciation. You learn to bask in the warm glow of a compliment,
and feel the pleasure of participating more at work and in family life.
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| Schizoid Loner Self Compass Growth |
Once
this process is underway, you bring the virtue of objectivity to human
interaction. If a discussion grows overly impassioned, recovering Loners can
offer a perspective on the situation unseen by people more emotionally driven.
You don’t take things personally, so your feedback is honest. By moving into
the Assertion compass point, you challenge unfairness toward yourself or others.
As you exercise your full Self Compass, all the benefits of objectivity emerge:
Redeemed Loner—virtue of objectivity.
- Lives and lets live.
- Can be fair-minded and impartial.
- Separates facts from feelings.
- Responds to emergencies with calm detachment.
- Not burdened by other people’s expectations.
- Doesn’t need to impress anyone.
- Inner-directed.
Understanding that your primary satisfaction comes from inner-direction, you add to this the emotional payoffs of reaching out to others.
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