Conquer Public Speaking Fear with The Self Compass!

As a psychologist I've helped hundreds of people of all ages extinguish anxiety about speaking to groups, since speaking is an adult skill that enhances your mental health and increases your social pleasure.

It's not that hard. The four compass points of the Self Compass growth tool show the way.

 I will draw from each of these compass points in a quick tour around your Self Compass, a tour that will help you move away from:

the fear of public speaking

toward the pleasure of speaking success!

Both you and everyone you will ever speak to share a Love compass point of personality. Love is where you feel and express social interest, excitement, caring, and joy. When love is communicated, people light up with pleasure, whether they are eight or twenty-eight or eighty.

So in considering a public talk, lay fear aside long enough to care for the well-being of those whom you'll be addressing. Care about what concerns them, what worries them, what busy schedules they face, what personal adversity that are undergoing. Care enough to give them a few moments of your energy and experience that you have condensed into a talk, and care that they have a personal takeaway from your speech that they can apply to life.

Now just as the right amount of Love makes for a caring presentation, too much Love would make you a bore. You don't want to care so much about the audience that you need them to hang on every word, consider this the finest speech they've ever heard, or praise you to high heaven once you've finished. So while too much Love would contribute to speaking anxiety, just enough Love will contribute to conveying that you like them!

LOVE COMPASS POINT

Next on the Self Compass comes the Assertion compass point. Here you have a perfect right to express your viewpoint, feelings, knowledge, and expertise, regardless of what people think about it. In your Assertion you don't sit there worrying about what people might think. You think about how to find words and illustrations for what you know best — the very topic that you are presenting. Again, too much Assertion would make you come off with a chip on your shoulder, or too much argumentation and too little substance. But just the right amount of assertion will show that you have the courage of your convictions, and are willing to offer them to others.

ASSERTION COMPASS POINT

Now comes the Weakness compass point, the place where your social anxiety can serve a good purpose. A certain amount of anxiety is helpful to us when we prepare a speech. It keeps us mindful that we don't want to bore people, prattle on about nothing of consequence, or ramble without making clear points. In other words, anxiety keeps us humble, knowing that we cannot deliver a perfect speech, but a "good enough" speech will do fine.

WEAKNESS COMPASS POINT

Last we experience a dose of the Strength compass point both when we're practicing our speech behind closed doors, and then again while we are delivering. You can feel confident that your mind won't go blank, because you have notes right in front of you. You can feel adequate that you won't put your foot in your mouth, because you will carefully follow a well-edited outline. You can anticipate the achievement of success, picturing that as soon as you uttered your first sentence, your unconscious will help you carry out the speech you've prepared and rehearsed.

STRENGTH COMPASS POINT

Naturally, the first few times you put together these rhythmic compass elements in the direct encounter of a live speech, you have a few hems and haws, a jumpy transitions, just like everyone else in the world does. But before long, these balancing points of a healthy Self Compass will  empower you to deliver intriguing and informative speeches, no matter how much public speaking fear you used to have!

I know. In high school and college I couldn't raise my hand in class with turning bright red, and I couldn't speak in class without my mind going blank. But with the help of compass principles, this gradually turned around so that I've spoken to thousands of people in groups, and millions of people on radio and television programs. I don't even break a sweat, because long ago my unconscious replaced my old terror of public speaking with Love for my audience, Assertion in expressing my point of view, Weakness that reflects humility about my limitations, and Strength in anticipating the satisfaction of a successful speech that brings new friends into my life.

Don't worry. The Self Compass will work for you, too. Add a little dose of prayer for transformation inner weakness into strength — and you're on the road to speaking success. I'm absolutely sure of it!

For more about turning your fear of life and people 

into faith in your self, God, and others, read: 

FAITH BEYOND CHURCH WALLS:

FINDING FREEDOM IN CHRIST

Empower Christian Discipleship with The Self Compass

Traditionally, Christian discipleship has involved taking the truth and principles Jesus taught and seeking to make individuals think and behave like Jesus did.

It's hard to imagine a worthier goal than growing more Christlike. And worth questioning how to help people do this. If we mechanically stamp the image of Christ onto people the way we rubber-stamp an envelope, we risk creating superficial Christian behavior that is not integrated with the depth dimensions of their personality.

What if we start with Christ's behavior as revealed in Scripture and place Jesus at the center of a personality model? One that helps Christians grow psychologically and spiritually, not as Jesus' clone, but as a unique individual in Christ. 

Dan and Kate Montgomery propose that such a process of Christian discipleship can emerge from using the Self Compass: an empirically validated growth tool that promotes healthy personality and relationships, while reflecting Jesus' behavior in the Gospels.

The Self Compass equips Christian discipleship with a personality model that enables Christians to understand inner conflicts, thoughts, feelings, the unconscious, and healthy versus unhealthy communication. Through this knowledge Christians can more effectively love God and others as they love themselves.

Utilizing the LAWS (Love/Assertion; Weakness/Strength) embedded in the Self Compass allows individuals to intuitively cooperate with Christ's transforming power in their personality. This process of discipleship combines biblical fidelity with psychological maturing.

Employing the Self Compass growth tool means that Christians express both tender care and diplomatic assertion. They are competent and strong, yet at the same time humbly aware of their weaknesses, maintaining free and equal access to all four compass points. To study how Christ's Self Compass is the definitive model for thinking, feeling, and acting with compass balance, read Compass Psychotheology: Where Psychology and Theology Really Meet.

Love lets individuals care for themselves and others, drawing out their potential for nurturance, compassion, and forgiveness. Love provides the bridge of intimacy that connects them to people in caring ways. But no one remains loving all the time. There are times to stand up for yourself and negotiate for what is fair and just. Assertion allows people to do just that: express their point of view with diplomacy.

Weakness helps Christians accept as normal the times when they feel uncertain or anxious. When they admit these vulnerable feelings into awareness, they can freely acknowledge their clay feet and ask for help when needed. On the other hand, Strength provides a sense of competence, confidence, and personal power. Healthy strength encourages Christians to achieve their best, while humbly acknowledging their weaknesses.

Christian discipleship can effectively help Christians become like Christ, each in their individual way, especially with the compass points of Love and Assertion, Weakness and Strength up and running. Jesus’ behavior in the Gospels reveals this personality balance and flexibility, and modern research on personality affirms these attributes as crucial for mental health.

The correlation of Jesus’ personality with the Self Compass combines a psychological and spiritual understanding of Christ, with trust in the Holy Spirit to indwell and influence a Christian's personality and relationships.

For the definitive book connecting the Self Compass with 

Christian transformation and discipleship, read:

Christian Personality Theory:

A Self Compass for Humanity

Jesus Christ's Self Compass

A pastoral counseling colleague at Harvard Divinity School told me that, "Jesus Christ had no personality as we know it today. He has nothing in common with modern conceptions of personality. And there is no similarity between his behavior and ours."

I disagree. Jesus' behavior in the Gospels reveals what personality is all about—motivation, perception, learning, memory, emotion, cognition, and spirituality. The Son of God became fully human precisely so we can relate to him through our personalities. And in Christ's behavior we see God's personality wholeness, as well as a model for becoming more whole ourselves. 

Biblical names of Jesus Christ reveal crucial aspects of his personality. Four names in particular illustrate the complimentary dynamics of  Christ’s Self Compass. 

Christ's Self Compass

Jesus as the Good Shepherd reveals the Love compass point. He watches over his sheep and calls them by name. As he lays his life down for his sheep out of love, so he commands: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (Jn 13:34). Jesus shows us how: In caring service Christ taught the disciples, and healed and fed the multitudes. He formed close friendships that revealed loyalty and emotional fulfillment, yet cared for himself by taking time to pull back from his ministry and restore his energies.

The Lion of Judah reveals the Assertion compass point of Jesus’ personality. A fierce opponent of injustice, Jesus rebuked the self-righteous Pharisees and drove the moneychangers out of his Father’s temple. Though tempted by Satan, he resisted and affirmed the Father's will, and will return to judge the living and the dead. And Jesus challenges us all to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation" (Mk 16:15). It is from Assertion that we find the courage to live out Christ's commands, imperfectly, yet courageously.

Growing Christlike

The Lamb of God reveals the Weakness compass point of Jesus' personality when he gives his life to save people from the inseparable breach that sin creates between them and God. And he knows, too, that "since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you" (Jn 15:20 NLT). Through Jesus' suffering we draw comfort from him who shares in all human suffering; our God who stands with and for us in both adversity and need.

The Prince of Peace reveals the Strength compass point of Jesus' personality. As God’s reigning Messiah who overcomes sin and the devil to inaugurate the kingdom of God, Jesus alone can say, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (Jn 14:27).  Jesus is the source of a believer's Strength, a confidence balanced by trust in the Lord and sensitivity to others.

Jesus gifts humanity with a redemptive psychology of personal and relational transformation, and lives within us to empower our healthy personality transformation throughout the lifespan.

For more on how the Self Compass forms a dynamic living connection between you and Christ, see:  

Compass Psychotheology:  

Where Psychology & Theology Really Meet.

Catholic Cardinals Commend The Self Compass

In my seminary years I received prayerful guidance to the effect that someday I would construct a personality model acceptable within a broad spectrum of Christianity. This came as an inner impression, bringing with it a compelling urge to read widely in personality, including the writings of Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, the Old Testament prophets, the Gospels, the apostle Paul, among others.

"Dan, don't just read Protestant theologians, philosophers and psychologists," coached the interior voice, which I perceived as the Holy Spirit. "Include great Catholic thinkers like St. Augustine, St. Teresa of Avila, Gabriel Marcel, Adrian van Kaam, and Thomas Merton."

I followed these marching orders, completing both Masters and PhD degrees. The central theme was integrating psychology, philosophy and theology around personality transformation in Christ. However, any connection to the Catholic Church lay dormant for the next 20 years—until the editor of Pauline Books and Media called and ask if I would write a book for them integrating depth psychology and Catholic spirituality. 

My wife Kate and I wrote the manuscript for God and Your Personality and received a ratifying contract almost immediately. Sister Mary Mark confided in the accompanying letter, "Dan, I want you to know that our convent had been in prayer for a month, asking the Lord who should write this book. The Holy Spirit impressed us to contact you."

Now twenty years have passed since the book was published. By the grace of God, it has become in the words of the Daughters of St. Paul, "a modern day spiritual classic." I feel awe and gratitude, having seen the book translated into ten languages, and a newly revised and expanded Kindle edition.

I bring this up because Catholic Cardinals keep a watchful eye out for what personality theories they commend to lay readers, and which ones—like the Enneagram—are judged as heretical.

This is prudent and necessary, since any personality model not only puts forth assumptions about human personality, but by implication judges the Nature and Person of Jesus Christ. This in turn affects whether the model rings true to Christian faith and doctrine.    

The Self Compass growth tool helps your understand how the Father moves through your personality, conforming you into the image of the Son by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I am especially gratified that Cardinals from five countries have written me letters commending the Self Compass and Compass Therapy as doctrinally sound growth tools for facilitating personality wholeness and spiritual holiness.

And that God and Your Personality has been selected for inclusion in the Vatican Library,  as well as endorsed by the Secretary of the Vatican Council for the Evangelization of Peoples, Archbishop Robert Sarah.

I am posting several of these letters for the benefit of my dear Catholic readership, to give assurance that the Self Compass and Compass Therapy not only incorporate empirical studies from personality research, but beyond this, these tools of transformation ultimately derive from the Nature and Personality of Jesus Christ.

The letters are as follows:

                                                          

PAUL CARDINAL POUPARD, THE VATICAN: “God & Your Personality is no New Age influenced waffle clouded in a mystique of blurb, but a useful tool for all those who seek to address personality issues and quench their innate spiritual thirst with the living-water which truly satisfies!"
 

RICARDO CARDINAL VITAL, PHILIPPINES: “God & Your Personality is a noble accomplishment and a gift to individuals who seek wholeness and holiness.”

ERDO CARDINAL PETER, HUNGARY: "God & Your Personality is a fine achievement and wonderful contribution to the healing ministry." 

STEPHEN CARDINAL KIM, KOREA:  "I am now reading Dr. Montgomery's God and Your Personality and find it very enlightening."

ROGER CARDINAL MAHONY, USA: “The Catholic tradition has long affirmed the value of the human sciences in leading us to a deeper understanding of the human person in relation to God and others. Dr. Dan Montgomery’s work, drawing as it does from the riches of psychological investigation and insight, will prove most helpful for those striving to grow and develop in the Christian life.”

To read more, click the title below for the print or Kindle edition:

GOD AND YOUR PERSONALITY: REVISED AND EXPANDED CATHOLIC EDITION

God and Your Personality

Benefit from the Self Compass LAWS of Personality

Utilizing the LAWS embedded in the Self Compass allows you to intuitively cooperate with Christ’s transforming power in your personality. Employing your entire Self Compass means that you express both tender care and diplomatic assertion. You are competent and strong, yet at the same time humbly aware of your weakness, maintaining free and equal access to all four compass points.

Love lets you care for yourself and the world, drawing out your potential for nurturance, compassion, and forgiveness. Love provides the bridge of intimacy that connects you to others. 

But no one remains loving all the time. There are times to stand up for your self and negotiate with others for what is fair and just. Assertion allows you to do just that: express your point of view while still caring about others.
  
Weakness helps you accept as normal the times when you feel uncertain or anxious. When you admit these vulnerable feelings into awareness, you can freely acknowledge your clay feet and ask for help when needed.

Strength provides you with a sense of competence, confidence, and personal power. Healthy strength encourages you to achieve your best, while humbly acknowledging your weaknesses.

By synergistically integrating these LAWS of personality, and with God’s guidance, you become your true self in Christ.

For more, read Chapter One of The Self Compass: Charting Your Personality in Christ on Amazon.com.